AS A young boy growing up in 1960s Singapore, Abdul Mutalif Hashim (picture) saw many people in distress approaching his mother for help.His housewife mother, who died in 1994 at the age of 66, had gained a reputation in their kampung in the Alexandra area as a “big sister” one could turn to.

For her largely English-illiterate Malay community, Madam Zahara Awang – who could read the language – was a godsend when it came to figuring out complicated government forms and other matters.

“In the beginning, she helped a few people, and then it spread because at that time you could hardly find a Malay volunteer helping in their community,” said Mutalif. “And if she did not know where to take them, she would ask, and then the next time she would know.”

Mdm Zahara didn’t know it then, but her penchant for helping others would soon rub off on her second son.

Mutalif is now not only a respected leader in the Malay community, but is also well-known in the larger social service and grassroots circles.

“In social work, a Muslim must go beyond race and religion,” he explained. “You must look at who needs your help most. You cannot help just because he is a Muslim because in Islam it is a sin. You must help those who need it first – and this goes beyond religion and colour.”

Mother knows best

His charitable beginnings came from tagging along with Mdm Zahara. “I followed my mother wherever she went,” Mutalif told TODAY at his office in the Darussalam Mosque in Clementi. “I saw that whenever she helped people, people showed their appreciation to her for making a difference in their lives. So I wanted to be like my mother.”

At the age of 17, he made his first foray into the world of community work by volunteering at a nearby mosque. “I didn’t know of any other organisation except the mosque because I (had a) religious education.”

It was general work at first – from washing toilets to cleaning up the mosque after events – but he did not mind.

“I was interested in helping. I like to be engaged with the community,” said Mutalif, who has a degree in management and entrepreneurship from the University of Wales.

He no longer scrubs toilets at the mosque, but he does wear many hats in various social and religious capacities.

For starters, he is the chairman of the Darulssalam Mosque – a post he has held for about eight years. He is also the president of two voluntary welfare organisations he founded: The Just Parenting Association (JPA) and the Association for Devoted and Active Men (Adam).

The JPA runs the third and newest transitional shelter for homeless families in Singapore, while Adam runs a dedicated crisis helpline for men who need a listening ear for their problems.

In addition to all that, the 51-year-old is also active in grassroots work as chairman of the Inter-Religious Confidence Circle in Choa Chu Kang.

He also volunteers as a probation officer supervising young male offenders and is on the panel of assessors for the National Council of Problem Gambling deciding on casino exclusion orders.

He said bluntly: “If one day I wake up and no one needs me, I think I will die faster. I want to feel needed, it keeps me alive.”

Family ties

But without his supportive family – 49-year-old wife Mdm Norpipah Husin and his four daughters aged 19 to 26 – he admits it would have been much tougher to do the work he does.

His mother, too, had very strong support from his father, Mr Hashim Shariff, who has also died. While she was out taking on the role of good Samaritan, he cooked and cleaned the house – uncommon at the time, seeing as it was considered a woman’s role.

His father’s unconventional actions are what Mutalif hopes to see more Malay men doing, which is why he set up Adam in 2006, under the supervision of Senior Parliamentary Secretary for National Development and Defence Mohamad Maliki Osman.

“In the Malay community, men just think their role is to be the breadwinner. Once they bring food to the table, that’s it. They leave the rest to their wife. But now the family profile is changing and their wives are also working, so they cannot continue with that kind of role.”

The community leader said he saw a “critical gap” in services for men, especially for fathers, and thought it was necessary to start an agency to help them with their problems.

The helpline, in particular, was set up to provide an avenue for Malay men, who might think it taboo to be seen as vulnerable, to share their problems.

Since it was launched last year, the crisis helpline has received about 300 calls, mainly from blue-collar workers aged between 28 and 50.

Similarly, Mutalif founded the JPA to fill another “gap”. The JPA was formed as a dedicated organisation to help “strengthen” the family unit, conducting parenting and marriage forums as well as financial literacy classes for young couples about to get married.

In 2009, when the mosque could no longer put up low-income and often homeless families, the JPA began work on the Wahah Transistional Shelter for families without homes. The shelter began operating in June 2010 and is currently at full capacity, with 33 families under its care and 50 more on its wait list.

But he stressed that the social agencies he has started are not meant only for his own community but anyone in Singapore who needs a helping hand.

“I think helping both the Malay and wider communities is important,” said the tireless Samaritan. “If a particular community falls, the rest will also fall.” CAROLYN QUEK

“My Singapore is a place where Singaporeans can put themselves in the shoes of the low-income and be more understanding of their problems. Nobody chooses to be poor or be part of the underclass of society.” Abdul Mutalif Hashim